Regular Rob

Happiness. It’s something we all strive for, but it can be so elusive. It comes and goes, like trying to grab onto fog with your fingers. You think you’ve got it, and then it slips away. But at other times, happiness just finds you. Out of the blue. You realize you’re smiling and don’t even know why.

Is happiness something you choose, or a moment that’s thrust upon you? Is it a practice you work on, or a gift you receive? I’ve been thinking about this a lot, lately, wondering if happiness could be all of these things:

Happiness as a Moment

We’ve all had them. That sudden joy, when you’re laughing so hard with a friend you can’t breathe? Happiness when the sun hits your face as you walk out the door and the air outside is so fresh and full of possibility? Happiness as a moment is spontaneous and unexpected. You don’t plan for it, you don’t know when it’s coming, and you don’t realize it’s happening until you’re in the middle of it. Happiness as a moment can’t be forced. You can set the stage, but you can’t make it appear. The thing is, those moments are wonderful, but they don’t last. They slip away, as all moments do.

Happiness as a Choice

Choosing happiness, in difficult times, can be hard. We have bad days. Life gets in the way. Friends or family let us down. Stress piles up. Our first instinct might be to get angry, or sullen, or give up. But there’s power in choosing to search for a kernel of joy, even in a day gone awry. Happiness as a choice might mean allowing yourself to laugh when life throws a curve ball instead of getting mad. Or taking a moment to be grateful instead of bitter. Choosing happiness isn’t about denial. It’s about finding the good, even when the bad is front and center.

Happiness as a Practice

A practice of happiness is a slow and steady approach. It’s daily or weekly habits, rituals and disciplines that help create a happy life. A practice might be tending to your body (sleep, exercise, etc), checking in on friends, writing, meditating, or slowing down, or infusing your work with meaning. Happiness as a practice is the daily work. It’s not a guarantee of feeling joy in the moment, but instead a way of building a foundation and training your mind and heart to be happier in the long run. It’s almost like a spiritual or emotional form of exercise. The more you practice, the less it takes to feel joy, and the easier it is to bounce back when life knocks you down.

So, which one is happiness? I think, perhaps, it’s all three.

Happiness as a Moment, a Choice, and a Practice

Happiness is fleeting. It’s spontaneous and joyful and unexpected. Happiness is a choice. It’s hard sometimes, but there’s strength in looking for good, in difficult situations. Happiness is a practice. A slow and steady tending of your mind and spirit.

But maybe happiness is also all three. Maybe we don’t need to choose which kind to believe in. Maybe we can accept all three, and live our lives in the ways that work for us in each season.

Welcome the moments when they show up. Open yourself to choosing happiness when you can. Build a life and habits that make happiness a part of your everyday.

Happiness might not be something we seek once and hold on to. Maybe it’s something we visit in different forms, again and again.