Regular Rob

A little secret about goals. They never fall in your lap. They are never gift-wrapped, sitting on your front porch for the taking. They are always just out of reach, and we must run after them.

I know this because mine never came easily. I got seriously injured at 15 and my life was changed overnight. I ended up having a back surgery at 16 with permanent damage to my nervous system. Nobody knows about the scars, the recovery, and the humiliation of relearning how to walk. How I was tested in ways that I never knew one could be tested. Pain that I would never wish on my worst enemy. It wasn’t only physical. It was mental. Each step I took was painful, but also a reminder of the fact that I could not give up.

At 20, I got divorced, and somehow found myself in more pain than I had ever been in before. You don’t really expect a divorce at 20. The heartache burns all the way to your core. It tears you apart, and forces you to rebuild a new you from scratch. I felt like I lost myself for a while. I am sure my friends looked at me and wondered the same. I wondered if I could ever find my way back. But in hindsight, I realize it was also a blessing in disguise. I realized that I could pick myself up from the ruins and start over.

By the age of 26, I was due for another surgery. One to hopefully fix what had not been fixed before. I had been in need of a second surgery, but always found an excuse to put it off. I was in so much pain, always irritable, never getting any relief. Always angry, always distrusting, always hurt. I felt like a caged animal. Only my body was my prison. I finally had enough. Surgery two was deemed a success. Fixing things from a decade before even. I decided then, I was never going back. I had a new lease on life. My body was damaged, but my mind was sharp, so I went back to college.

By the time I went back to school, I was much older than most in my classes. I walked into my first classroom with a stack of transcripts and a list of credits. I carried both a chip on my shoulder and a thorn in my side. There were people 10 years my junior. They had twice my experience. For a second, I thought maybe I didn’t belong. But I told myself: You can work toward any goal you want. It doesn’t matter how old you are. It doesn’t matter how many times you have to start over.

The reality is if it is worth having, it will need more of you than you think you have. It will ask you to show up on the days you’re feeling weak and invisible. I have had more bad days than I care to admit. However, I have also had plenty of wins along the way. Small wins remind me that progress is always possible. Larger victories let me know that every fight is worth it.

I have come to realize that struggles do not disqualify you from achieving goals. Instead, they equip you for them. The heartbreaks, the losses, the do-overs—they are molding you to be a person of great resilience, character, and substance. You don’t have to wait until you have all your ducks in a row to chase after a dream. The scars that you gather on your way are part of the journey. They will transform you into a much different and greater you.

So whatever your goal is, keep running. Fight for it when it seems out of reach. Work for it when no one is around to see it. And never allow yourself to believe that your story disqualifies you from your dreams. It is the same story that can and will make you strong enough to win. When you have your hand raised in victory, you won’t remember the journey. The destination will be an amazing victory for you. However, the real win is becoming the person who refused to quit.